cookieFortune4

Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
"Chopstick = quite ze"

What if circumstances give you solid gold chopsticks? That would make me happy.

Something you lost will soon turn up.
" = "

Like money? Or teeth? Or weight?

The time is right to make new friends
"Water = shui"

And tell the old ones to "get lost, freaks!"

You believe in the goodness of all mankind.
"No, it isn't = Bu dui."

Are you kidding? Clearly, fortune cookie, you do not know me at all.

You will have many bright days soon.
"Where is bank? = Yinhang zai nar?"

As opposed to bright sunny nights.

You have the strength to be a leader not a follower.
"Sorry, Please say again. = Duibuqi qing ni zai shou yi chi"

However, you have no sense of direction. Sorry.

Today will be pleasant, your life will be prosperous.
"When resturant closed? = Tsaguar shanme shihou guanmen?"

I don't really trust that. Can I get it in writing? Oh, wait...

A man best possession is a sympathetic wife.
""

Is there some kind of scale? I'm not married, I'm guessing my next best possession is my car.

You will do well to expand your business.
"When resturant closed? = Tsaguar shanme shihou guanmen?"

I work for the state, so how am I going to do that? Maybe I need to write a grant?

You will be gratified with your coming advancement.
"Sunshine day = ching tien"

Like, ummm, a promotion? Is that what this means? I'm confused. Why is the cookie so obscure?

Always put your best foot forward.
"Happy = kwi lur"

Seriously? Is that all you've got? Kiss my ass, cookie.

Success is a journey, not a destination.
"Baseball = bong cho"

So, just by getting started, I've already succeded? Awesome!

Your present plans will be successful.
"Where can buy stamp? = Zai nar mai youpiao?"

My present plan is to acquire and consume a burritto. Is there a statute of limitations on a fortune cookie - or is this good for the rest of my life? Or does it only relate to buying stamps?

No difficulty can awe you once you make your decision.
"Shoes = sha zhe"

I'm sorry, but WTF does that even mean?

Your life's foundation is becoming quite strong.
"I am looking for the post office = Wo yao zhao youju."

What exactly is my life's foundation? And how much can it bench?

Share your happiness with others today.
"Shirt = chan san"

My happiness today was a burritto - and no, I'm not sharing.

Your name will famous in future.
"Where is the bank? = Yinhang zai nar?"

Like Betty Croker?

Your life will be happy and peaceful.
"That is how much = Na ge auoshao?"

...but short. Sorry.

From a past misfortune, good luck will come to you.
"No = pu"

But if you've been lucky in the past, you'll be screwed now.

Your work interests can capture the highest status or prestige...
"Small = shau"

...in bed. Isn't that what you're supposed to add to the end of a fortune cookie? Sounds like a political scandal in the making.