cookieFortune3

Your heart is in the right place where loved ones are concerned.
"Today weather very good = Jintian tianqi hen hao"

In a jar. On a shelf in the basement. Next to the can of eyeballs.

You will have a very pleasant experience.
"Where is the restroom? = Shisojai zai nar?"

Ummmm...could you be more vague? I mean, seriously. What kind of pleasant experience? When will it happen? How much will it cost me? You can't just toss out a fortune like that and expect there to be no questions. At least the "learn chinese" is finally helpful.

There are big changes for you but you will be happy.
"Cat = mou"

You will be happy, dammit! Now smile! And by the way, the cat actually says "meow"

Love is the nicest gift of all.
"Father = pa pa"

But a shiny new playstation 3 is nice too.

Adjust finances, make budgets, to improve your standing.
"What is your name? = Ni jiao shenmo mingzi?"

Really? Is that how it's done? I need to send this cookie to Washington, DC.

You have the strength to be a leader, not a follower.
"Sorry, Please say again = Duibuqi qing ni zai shou yi chi"

And since you're strong, please help me move this fridge.

Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
"I miss you = wa shong nee"

Along with learning to knit and being a movie star.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
"Resturant = Chan guan"

It's like one of those two door puzzles with the one guard that always lies and the other always tells the truth. Except not.

Get your mind set; confidence will lead you on. (2)
"Stereo = in shong"

You can almost hear a cheerleader chanting this, can't you? It's so exciting and peppy. Makes me a little nauseous.

There's no problem that cannot be solved over a green tea ice-cream.
"Sugar = tang"

Really? No problem, huh? How about radiation poisoning? Will green tea ice-cream fix that?

You are exceptionally loyal to your friends and family.
"Shirt = chan san"

Like a dog. Or the mafia.

You will have many friends when you need them.
"Telephone is where = Dianhua zai nar?"

Unless you are moving. Then all of your friends will be out of town, especially the ones with trucks.

You'll never go wrong if you build your business on Quality, Integrity, and Service
"Big = da"

But not on wood or straw. Brick should be okay.

Prepare yourself for a big change of events in your personal life.
"what do you want = nee ya shau mor"

A little vague, don't you think?

He who hurries can not walk with dignity.
"You are welcome = pur cur chee"

Think Mall Walkers. 'Nuff said.

Three days from today is your lucky day.
"Do you speak Chinese? = Ni hui shou zhongwen ma?"

Sure. And tomorrow is free hamburger day.

You always foster hopes for success.
"Where is bank? = Yinhang zai nar?"

But you will still fail. Sometimes with an Epic Fail. Sorry about that.

If you wish to, you will have an opportunity.
"Have you any question? = NI you wenti ma?"

Yeah, I have a question. What kind of opportunity? I mean, I might wish to have the opportunity to walk on the moon, but that ain't likely.

You will hear pleasant news.
"No = pu"

What is this? An advertisement for a hunting magazine? Oh, wait. I thought that said 'pheasant'. My mistake

A wish will be granted after a long delay.
"Mother = ma ma"

Is this refering to the opportunity fortune I got recently? So, I have to wish for an opportunity, and then wait. For a really long time. Great.

You will enjoy good health, and you will be surrounded by luxury.
"Zoo = don woo yuen"

It's about freaking time! How many of these crappy fortunes did it take to finally get one I can believe in?

Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you.
"Football = Jew cho"

So, if I can get my friends to flatter me - I'll start levitating? Sweet!

You will be joined with an old forgotten friend.
"Telephone is where = Dianhua zai nar?"

Joined as in fused together at the spine? Or that they'll just stop be for lunch? Please clarify.