cookieFortune2

You will be fortunate in the opportunities presented to you.
"What do you like? = Nee ya shau mor"

...although those opportunities may generally suck.

Your life's foundation is becoming quite strong.
"I am looking for the post office = Wo yao zhao youju"

Still looking for that post office.

A vacation of vacations is waiting for you.
"Monday = xingcheeyi"

...in fabulous downtown Akron, Ohio!

A true friend is like a good book the inside is better than the cover.
"What do you like? = Nee ya shau mor"

What happens if you judge a book by it's cover? Answer me that, cookie.

Speculations will turn out well.
"Today weather very good = Jintian tianqi hen hao"

Unless you are speculating about the weather. Then it's going to rain.

You will either be happy over a proposition offered or a new job.
"Shoes = sha zhe"

...involving shoes.

You will journey to pleasant places.
"I live in America = Wo zhu zal meiguo"

But only in America. No trips to Canada for you.

You will reach high levels of intelligence. (2)
"Money = chein"

What's my time frame on this one? Today? This week? Will it last? Will I be dumb again next week? Ack! The pressure!

You should be able to undertake and complete anything. (3)
"Pants = ku zeh"

Should be able to. But you can't. Because you are a loser and have no friends. And your pants? Hideous.

What makes an apple fall from the tree?

Gravity.

You can have everything you want in life.(2)
"Is it difficult? = Nan bu nan?"

Awesome! Can I have some snacks?

True friends will always surround you. (2)
"It is right = Dui le"

...so they can distract you and then steal your wallet.

Find release from your cares. Have a good time.
"Is it difficult? = Nan bu nan?"

My first impression of this is that it's dirty. My second impression is that it's very dirty. And should be done alone. Perhaps with a magazine and some lotion.

You have yearning for perfection.
"Monday = xingcheeyi"

How is this a fortune? Sounds more like some kind of personality analysis.

Next full moon brings an enchanting evening.
"Resturant = Chan guan"

So... I need to have dinner in a Disney restaurant during a full moon? I suppose an enchanted evening is better than a werewolf attack, but what if I've already got plans for that evening? Or is it valid for the three days of the full moon?

Some chances of glamour and excitement are coming to you.
"Hair cut = jen toi fa"

I got my hair cut the day before I got this fortune. Does that mean I missed my chances of glamour and excitement? 'Cause it's just a buzz cut and the waiting area at Best Cuts was not all that exciting.

Your intuition is excellent, but another viewpoint could be helpful.
"What time is it = Ji dian le?"

I thought intuiton was a chick thing. Is this cookie calling me a chick? Is that what this is? I'm gonna have to kick some cookie ass. Well, what do think, cookie? Did your intuition tell you that an ass-kicking was on the way?

Good luck is with you this month.
"Resturant = Chan guan"

This month? This month that's almost over? What a crock of shit. I've got, what, 3 days of good luck? Since when did cookies become time-sensitive?

Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgement
"Sunshine day = ching tien"

I thought it favored the foolish? And how is "sunshine day" going to help me if I'm stranded in China?

Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.
"Chopstick = quietze"

So, if Outlook is a Microsoft email program and happiness is intertwined with outlook, does that mean that Happiness is now owned by Microsoft?

You will inherit a large sum of money
"What is your name? = Ni jiao shenmu mingzi?"

Is this one of those "monkey's paw evil wish things"? Where you get your wish but something terrible happens to a loved one? 'Cause that would suck. But at least you get the money.

You will be successful in love.
"New year = hsin nean"

Another one where I have to wait for next year? Crap.

Always put your best foot forward.
"Happy = kwi lur"

... unless you are walking near a cliff. And what kind of a fortune is that? Is Dr. Phil writing these?

A rich partner is ordained for you.
"School = shway shou"

Ordained? Who says ordained anymore? I mean, priests are ordained but... Oh, crap. Is that the rich partner?

Soon you will be sitting on top of the world. (2)
"Basketball = lan cho"

And it will be cold there. Bring a sweater.