"Fine,"

"So, the most obvious and easiest way it to go really fast,"

"Because time goes slower the faster you go,"

"Exactly. That community college degree really worked out for you,"

"Yes. But to do any good you'd have to travel at a respectable fraction of the speed of light,"

"Well, yeah. But it would work once you got up to speed,"

"Ignoring the fact that you people can barely leave the planet at this point, much less travel near the speed of light,"

"Okay, I'll ignore it,"

"It would still only slow things down for you. And it would only be one way - you couldn't use it to go back in time. It's a flawed solution at best,"

"Moving on. You could also compress a planetary mass to a narrow cylinder and spin it at high speeds,"